 Boy: Can I kiss u ?
Girl: Where on vertical or horizontal lips?
Twins talking inside mother's womb
T1: The place is shaking, daddy's here again, he is early today.
T2: Shhh, quiet, that's not daddy, daddy doesn't wear a raincoat.
Q: What is the difference between a chicken and a baby?
A: Chicken is the result of a sitting hen, while the baby is the result of a standing cock.
Q: Why do women wear black panties?
A: It's a way for them to say "in memory of those who were buried here"
One day a secretary saw her boss's pants unzip.
She said, "boss ur garage's door is open".
Boss: "did u see my ferrari?"
Secretary: "no boss, I can see a scooter with two punctured tires!!"
Boy goes for blood test. Nurse takes the blood sample from the tip of hisfinger and cannot
find cotton, so she sucks his finger. Boy is so happy that he asks, "can I get a urine test
done?"
Wife: U were so drunk last night that u insulted ur boss.
Husband: Piss him!
Wife: U did that and he fired u.
Husband: Screw him!
Wife: I did that and you can go back to work from tomorrow.
Guy takes woman to his room, puts his pants down and says," meet my littlebrother".
Woman picks up her bag and says, "so call me when he grows up!"
A 85 year old man gets sensation and wants to make love to his wife.
He says "I am going to buy 2 viagras".
Wife says, "if you are going to start that rusty thing again, I will have to take a tetanus injection"
Q: Who is the world's best goalkeeper ?
A: A woman.
Q: why ?
A: Because, whichever way you take her, the balls just won't go in.
Husband to Wife: I will take a photo of your breasts and frame it.
Wife: Yes, but I will take a photo of your penis and enlarge it.
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